2013 Fantasy Baseball pReview

   It's that time of year when we toss our loyalties to the wind and start picking our fantasy baseball teams, chalk full of hated players from rival teams. As the saying goes in fantasy sports, "You pick with your head, not with your heart." - ask any former or current fantasy player who has foolishly gone so homer they've destroyed any chance of winning their league, whether it be 10-team or 12-team, head-to-head or rotisserie. Here we concentrate on the 10- to 12-team head-to-head variety, specifically tailored to ESPN standard format leagues, save a few minor differences, which should prove irrelevant here. This Fantasy Baseball pReview also marks the debut of fantasy sports contributor @broyale725 (Twitter handle), a seasoned fantasy sports veteran (and some would say Guru) broyale725 will occasionally contribute to The Sports A-Phish-ionado in a section we'll call: "The Broyale Straight". Although there's no such thing as a Royal Straight, a Royal Flush doesn't sound cool. So let's go with what sounds cool.

   The format for this fantasy baseball pReview is simple: The top players at their respective positions are designated by ESPN standard format league scoring; the author offers opinions on sleepers and the rise/fall/neutrality of a player relative to 2012. The Broyale Straight will offer opinions on his best positional players, his rise/fall players, guys to stay away from, as well as guy to remember after 2012 injuries or no-shows. Trust me, @broyale725 knows his stuff - after several years at the top of a competitive 12-team ESPN standard league, he's ventured out and won several public, rotisserie, and head-to-head leagues in addition to maintaining his playoff streak in our original league. Don't tell him, but I've won many a match-up based on his advise...oh wait. If you have any questions, feel free to comment, or contact either one of us on Twitter (@Phaulkner; @broyale725). Let's get ready for some baseball folks ! (as 2 feet of snow falls across the Midwest)

Note: Opinions between @Phaulkner & @Broyale725 may differ online as they do in real life

2013 Fantasy Baseball pReview

Top Positional Players - based on points in standard format ESPN leagues (+ rise, - fall, = neutral relative to 2012) * multi-positional player

Catcher

1. Buster Posey, SF (+)................   365*

2. Victor Martinez, Det (+)..........   335*

3. Joe Mauer, Minn (N)...............   330*

4. Carlos Santana, Cle (+)...........   322*

5. Yadier Molina, St.L (=)..........    320

6. Matt Weiters, Bal (+)..............    314

Notes: Only 18 catchers are projected to score 200+ points in 2013, by far the fewest number of 200+ scorers at any position, even RP (20). In other words, catcher is NOT deep, although veterans and sleepers like Salvador Perez (KC), A.J. Perzynski (Tex), the Montero's (Arz & Sea), Mike Napoli (Bos), Willin Rosario (Col), and the incumbent Brian McCann (Atl) are all knocking at the door. Look for Martinez to excel in that Detroit lineup coming off a years rest, and look for Carlos Santana to cut loose. I expect a slight drop off for the well-traveled Posey. Multi-position eligibility for the top-4 projected catchers is a serious advantage.

The Broyale Straight: Does not mention catchers...apparently doesn't care for them.

1B

1. Albert Pujols, LAA (=)............  472*

2. Prince Fielder, Det (-)...............  437

3. Joey Votto, Cin (+)...................   405

4. Edwin Encarnacion, Tor (+).....   400*

5. Billy Butler, KC (N).................   397*

6. Adrian Gonzalez, LAD (+)......   388*

7. Mark Teixeira, NYY (-)...........   370

8. Buster Posey, SF (+).................   365

9. Paul Konerko, CHW (-)............  351*

10. Allen Craig, St.L (+)...............  350*

Notes: Very deep position with 44 players projected to score 200+ points. My sleeper is Freddie Freeman, who although at 317 projected points doesn't seem like a sleeper, is only ranked 15th preseason. This young stud will be on a recently revamped ATL line-up and I expect big things. I originally had Puljos on a slight drop-off from 2012, until LAA signed Josh Hamilton in the off-season I remembered Mike Trout. LAA is going to be dangerous, and the line-up should provide plenty of fantasy pop.

The Broyale Straight: Fielder, Votto, Pujols, Encarnacion

2B

1. Robinson Cano, NYY (-)...........   455

2. Ian Kinsler, Tex (-).....................   385

3. Dustin Pedroia, Bos (-)..............    382

4. Ben Zobrist, TB (+)...................    352*

5. Brandon Phillips, Cin (+)...........   349

6. Marco Scutaro, SF (-).................   346*

7. Aaron Hill, Arz (-)......................   338

8. David Murphy, NYM (=)...........   303

9. Jason Kipnis, Cle (+)..................   303

10. Niel Walker, Pit (+)...................   297

Notes: 23 players 200+ projected points, and huge drop-off between the top spot (Cano) and the rest of the field. The 2B (or basically infield) sleeper is Jeff Keppinger, CHW, who at 282 projected points and a guy who plays 1B, 2B, 3B, and DH is a valuable guy is deep leagues.

The Broyale Straight: Cano, Pedroia, Zobrist, Kinsler

3B

1. Miguel Cabrera, Det (=).............   501

2. Adrian Beltre, Tex (-)..................   427*

3. Evan Longoria, TB (-).................   388*

4. David Wright, NYM (-)...............   377

5. Amaris Ramirez, Mil (-)..............   370

6. Martin Prado, Arz (-)...................   367

7. Ryan Zimmerman, Was (+)..........   354

8. Pablo Sandavol, SF (+).................   352

9. Hanley Ramirez, LAD (+)............   340*

10. Michael Young, Phi (=)..............   318*

Notes: 24 players 200+ projected points, and another large drop-off between the top spots (Cabrera/Beltre) and the rest of the field. The Michael Young neutrality is based on his increased age offset by switching to the NL; although it's the NL East, the Phillies improved line-up will provide similar support as Texas did. Players like Brett Lawrie (Tor), David Freese (St.L), and Kevin Youkilis (NYY) make the 3B position potential very interesting.

The Broyale Straight: Cabrera, Beltre, Wright, Longoria

SS

1. Troy Tulowitski, Col (+)..............   406

2. Jose Reyes, Tor (+)......................   373

3. Starlin Castro, NYM (+)..............   356

4. Ben Zobrist, TB (+).....................   352*

5. Marco Scutaro, SF (-)..................   346*

6. Hanley Ramirez, LAD (+)...........   340*

7. Jimmy Rollins, Phi (-).................   337

8. J.J. Hardy, Bal (+).......................    331

9. Asdrubal Cabrera, Cle (+)...........   315

10. Elvis Andrus, Tex (+)................   306

Notes: With 24 players projected to get 200+points SS is the deepest it's been in years. In fact, in leagues where 4-6 players are kept from the previous season, a large % of these SS remain available in such leagues. Sleepers include Hardy, mentioned above, who could be in line for a monster season, in addition to Erick Aybar (LAA) and Ian Desmond (Was), both also on monster teams with deep line-ups.

The Broyale Straight: Tulowitski, Reyes, H. Ramirez, Zobrist

OF

1. Ryan Braun, Mil (-)...................   472

2. Jose Bautista, Tor (-).................   404

3. Andrew McCutchen, Pit (+).....   397

4. Matt Holliday, St.L (-)..............   386

5. Josh Hamilton, LAA (+)...........   369

6. Martin Prado, Arz (-)................   367*

7. Mike Trout, LAA (+)................   365

8. Carlos Gonzalez, Col (+)...........  363

9. Matt Kemp, LAD (+).................  363

10. Adam Jones, Bal (+)................   359

11. Ben Zobrist, TB (+).................   352*

12. Jay Bruce, Cin (+)....................   351

13. Melky Cabrera, Tor (-).............   351

14. Allen Craig, St.L (+).................  350*

15. Justin Upton, Atl (+).................  350

16. Bryce Harper, Was (+)..............   347

17. Jason Heyward, Atl (+).............   346

18. Yoenis Caspedes, Oak (+).........   342*

19. Alex Rios, CHW (=).................   339

20. Jacoby Ellsbury, Bos (+)...........   334

Notes: As usual, OF is the deepest position in fantasy baseball as it has at least three positions in most leagues and even four in some leagues. 1B is deep, but OF boasts 11 players out of the top-20 with 300+ projected points and 50 projected to get 200+! 81 total players are projected to score 200+ points, and even dividing by three to make the positional players even, OF still averages 27 players projected for 200+ points, second to 1B. In other words, don't go nuts on OFs unless it's too obvious to pass up...there will be plenty of guys left in the later rounds.

The Broyale Straight: Braun, Trout, Kemp, McCutchen, C. Gonzalez, Stanton, Bautista, Hamilton

SP

1. Justin Verlander, Det (=)................   469

2. Clayton Kershaw, LAD (=)............   436

3. Stephen Stasburg, Was (+).............   422

4. David Price, TB (+)........................   414

5. Gio Gonzalez, Was (+)...................   398

6. Yu Darvish, Tex (=)........................   396

7. Zack Grienke, LAD (-)...................   395

8. C.C. Sabathia, NYY (-)..................   392

9. Felix Hernandez, Sea (-)................   390

10. Cole Hamels, Phi (-).....................   385

11. Matt Cain, SF (+)..........................   375

12. Max Scherzer, Det (-)....................   365

13. Matt Moore, TB (+).......................   362

14. Chris Sale, CHC (+)......................   362

15. Jared Weaver, LAA (-)..................   359

16. Madison Bumgarner, SF (-)...........   358

17. Yovani Gallardo, Mil (=)...............   356

18. Mat Latos, Cin (=).........................   356

19. Cliff Lee, Phi (+)............................  356

20. Johnny Cueto, Cin (=)....................  347

Notes: 12 starting pitchers projected to score 300+ points beyond top-20; 65 starting pitchers projected to score 200+ points. Sleepers include R.A. Dickey (Tor), the only Cy Young winner I can ever think of traded the same reason he won the award...now he goes to the best line-up on paper. That either means he has a monster season or bombs...for some reason I see no middle ground. Tim Lincecum (SF) and Josh Johnson (Tor) should have great comeback seasons, and Roy Halladay should maintain - but be careful not to overpay. My personal sleeper is Matt Harvey (NYM), whose projected 9 SO/9 IP is attractive enough to take him in the later rounds. Look for Kris Medlen (ATL) to turn heads in his first full season on the starting mound as well.

The Broyale Straight: Verlander, Kershaw, Strasburg, Price, Hernandez

RP

1. Craig Kimbrel, Atl (=).......................   374

2. Aroldis Chapman, Cin (+).................   337*

3. Jon Paplebon, Phi (=).........................   293

4. Jason Motte, St.L (=).........................   292

5. John Axford, Mil (+)..........................   281

6. Addison Reed, CHW (+)....................   275

7. Greg Holland, KC (+).........................   273

8. Joel Hanrahan, Bos (+).......................   268

9. Joe Nathan, Tex (+)............................   261

10. Ernesto Frieri, LAA (+)...................   261

11. Rafeal Soriano, Was (+)...................   255

Notes: 22 projected to score 200+ points. Carig Kimbrel (ATL) is only projected to have an = season relative to 2012 because I think it's statistically improbable to top 2012, a season in which Kimbrel broke at least five pitching records, a few of which he set himself in 2011. Not since Eric Gagne has there been a RP worthy of keeping and/or selecting very high. Kimbrel's 374 projected points would make him the 12th projected starting pitcher, let alone RP. Truly amazing. My sleeper is Kenley Jansen (LAD), who rivals Craig Kimbrel in SO/9IP, and when healthy, could take - and rule - the RP spot, both on the Dodgers, and in MLB. 12 RP are projected to record 30+ saves, and another 8 are projected to record 20+ saves. In other words, 20 of the 30 MLB teams have RP projected to record 20+ saves so unless you have Craig Kimbrel, don't waste too much time fretting over RPs...especially at the rates they're replaced mid-season.

The Broyale Straight: Kimbrel, Paplebon, Motte, Soriano, Rivera

*Aroldis Chapman is scheduled to start games this season, but there are strong feelings that he will remain the closer, or be reassigned that role at some point in the season.


The Broyale Straight: The Best Values

1. Emilio Bonifacio, OF, Tor
2. Aroldis Chapman, RP, Cin
3. Brett Gardner, OF, NY
4. Martin Prado, OF, Arz
5. Melky Cabrera, OF, Tor
6. Jon Lester, SP, Bos
7. Josh Johnson, SP, Tor


The Broyale Straight: The Worst Values

1. Ryan Howard, 1B, Phi
2. Alex Rodriguez, 3B, NYY
3. Brett Lawrie, 3B, Tor
4. Mark Teixeira, 1B, NYY
5. Josh Willingham, OF, Minn
6. Aramis Ramirez, 3B, Mil
7. Buster Posey, C/1B, SF


The Broyale Straight: The 2013 High Risers

1. Madison Bumgarner, SP, SF
2. Gio Gonzalez, SP, Was
3. Jason Heyward, OF, Atl
4. Andrew McCutchen, OF, Pit
5. Bryce Harper, OF, Was
6. Starlin Castro, SS, CHC
7. R.A. Dickey, SP, Tor
8. Yoenis Caspedes, OF, Oak


The Broyale Straight: There's No More Crying in Baseball (this season anyway)

Batters coming back from injury on the watch:

1. Victor Martinez, C/1B, Det
2. Jacoby Ellsbury, OF, Bos
3. Brett Gardner, OF, NYY
4. Will Middlebrooks, 3B, Bos
5. Emilio Bonifacio, OF, Tor
6. Michael Morse, OF, Sea
7. Wilson Ramos, C, Was

Pitchers coming back from injury on the watch:

1. Dan Hudson, SP, Arz
2. Michael Pineda, SP, NYY
3. Tommy Hanson, SP, LAA
4. Brandon Beachy, SP, Atl
5. Shawn Marcum, SP, NYM
6. Corey Luebke, SP, SD


The Broyale Straight: The Bounce Back Boys (injury or not)

Pitchers:

1. Roy Halladay, SP, Phi
2. Ian Kennedy, SP, Arz
3. Dan Haren, SP, Was
4. Josh Beckett, SP, LAD
5. Tommy Hanson, SP, LAA

Batters:

1. Adrian Gonzalez, 1B, LAD
2. Troy Toluwitski, SS, Col
3. Justin Upton, OF, Atl


The Broyale Straight: He's Getting High on Downers

High batters (no order)

Allen Craig..........Paul Goldscmidt.........Yonder Alonso..........Anthony Rizzo..........Emilio Bonifacio..........Corey Hart..........Jon Lucroy..........AJ Pierzynski..........Alex Gordon..........Ben Zobrist..........Yoenis Caspedes..........Carlos Santana..........Austin Jackson

High pitchers (no order)

Brandon Morrow..........Kris Medlen..........Johnny Cueto..........Mat Latos..........Yu Darvish..........Max Scherzer..........James Shields..........Jason Grilli..........Brandon League*

Down batters (no order)

Shane Victorino..........Kevin Youkilis..........Hanley Ramirez..........Elvis Andrus..........Brain McCann..........Mark Teixeira..........Rafeal Furcal...........Alex Rodriguez..........Alexei Ramirez..........Alex Rios.........Rickie Weeks

Down pitchers (no order)

Tim Lincecum..........Lance Lynn..........Matt Garza..........Ubaldo Jiminez..........Bud Norris

*Could take RP role for LAD

 

The Broyale Straight: The Rookies

1. Wil Myers, OF, TB
2. Oscar Tavares, OF, St.L
3. Shelby Miller, SP, St.L
4. Dylan Bundy, SP, Bal
5. Trevor Bauer, SP, Cle


The Broyale Straight: The Sleepers

Batters:

1. Anthony Rizzo, 1B, CHC
2. Norichika Aoki, OF, Mil
3. Adam Eaton, OF, Arz
4. Michael Brantley, OF, Cle

Pitchers:

1. Matt Harvey, SP, NYM
2. Jeff Samardzija, SP, CHC 
3. Brandon McCarthy, SP, Arz
4. Mike Minor, SP, Atl
5. Jarod Parker, SP, Oak


The Broyale Straight: The Spring Chickens (players excelling this spring)

Batters (no order)

Eric Hosmer.........Brian Roberts.........Jose Bautista..........Mike Moustakas..........Bryce Harper..........Nolan Arendo..........Ryan Howard..........Jemile Weeks..........Brandon Belt..........Devin Mesoraco..........Jason Heyward..........Brett Wallace..........Jedd Gyorko


Pitchers (no order)

Jamie Garcia..........Brandon McCarthy..........Alex Cobb..........Jordan Zimmerman..........Scott Kazmir..........Brett Anderson..........Marco Estrada

Players on the fall (no order)

Dan Uggla..........Rafeal Furcal (out indefinitely)..........Matt Garza (will begin season on the DL)..........Billy Hamilton



The Broyale Straight: The Match-ups to Exploit Right Out of the Box

Hitters:

1. Toronto Blue Jays: Reyes, Bautista, Encarnacion, Cabrera, Bonifacio
2. Tampa Bay Rays: Zobrist, Longoria, Jennings
3. Los Angeles Angels: Hamilton, Pujols, Trout, Trumbo, Kendrick

Pitchers:

1. Oakland Athletics: Brett Anderson
2. Philadelphia Phillies: Cole Hamels, Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay
3. Washington Nationals: Stephen Strasburg, Gio Gonzalez, Jordan Zimmerman, Dan Haren
4. New York Mets: Matt Harvey, Jonathan Niese
5. Los Angeles Dodgers: Clayton Kershaw, Zack Grienke, Josh Beckett



Any questions or comments, feel free to comment here, or contact us on Twitter: @phaulkner OR @broyale725

Enjoy the season!

Phaulkner

-Trigger31.com

The NBA All-Star Break: The "Mid" Season Review

   It's the NBA All-Star weekend, the "mid" point in the season (actually the 2/3 point) where the NBA desperately tries to woo fans with new All-Star event gimmicks, this year being the 3rd installment of the absurd waste-of-time "Shooting Stars" event where current/retired players continually heave up H-O-R-S-E-type and half-court shots one after another. Sound lame? It was. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Although the NBA's popularity doesn't seem to be waning significantly the All-Star game festivities don't seem to be the best gauge. Neither does the "Worldwide Leader in Sports". A quick click on ESPN.go.com will display the #1 sports headlines: Derek Jeter had a horrible off-season putting around his 30,000 square mansion. The poor thing. But I feel worse for the NBA. The Super Bowl marks the end of football and the beginning of February. MLB pitchers and catchers usually report to camp around mid- to late-February. So for less than one month the NBA has the sports world essentially to itself...oh wait, the NHL...whoops. That's what happens when a professional sports league strikes nearly an entire season away twice in a few years. My Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup two years ago - and I momentarily forgot the NHL existed...enough said. So, again, the NBA essentially has a month to itself - and the top story today isn't even the All-Star festivities for the mid-point of the only sports event going on that should garner interest. It's about a glimpse into the elderly Jeter's future. That's where I come in: to put things back into their natural order. I don't give a flying shit about Derek Jeter right now, but I am excited about the rest of the NBA season and the inevitably exciting playoffs. Here's my take on the season so far and the All-Star festivities that have capped off the first 50 games.

(Note: The front page on ESPN.com actually is all about the NBA All-Star break...but it sounds cooler to say the first article was about Jeter...because it was.)

Best Record

- Absolutely amazing that the San Antonio Spurs sit atop the NBA at mid-point. Coach Pop' is the Bill Belichick of the NBA, and he's done arguably his best job yet with this aging Spurs team. Anchored by ageless veterans, an ever-improving Tony Parker, NE-native bomber Luke Bonner, Danny Green, and the unknown beast Tiago Splitter, these systematic Spurs led by one of the best coaches in all of sports have a game plan in place to keep the vets rested and the young guys filling roles when necessary. Whether this translates into anything come playoff time...not so sure. The West boasts two of the other three best records, and being considerably younger (and some would argue deeper), teams like OKC (39 wins) and LA (39 wins)...the Clippers...could provide the youthful Kryptonite needed to defeat the perennially tough Spurs. However, the Spurs score (4th), they defend (9th), and they move the ball better than anyone in the NBA (1st in assists). If Russell Westbrook forgets his teammates or the Clippers can't stay healthy, the Spurs could waltz right into the NBA Finals...where they would most likely suffer a 4-0 beat-down, returned to them by the very man they embarrassed some years back as a kid. I think his name was LeBron something.

Best Team

- This one is clearly more subjective. I'm not one to necessarily correlate the best record with the best team per se, because too many factors play into it, but it would be hard to bet against the Spurs as the best team in the NBA, in addition to having the best record. But can you honestly say that the Spurs would beat OKC in a seven game series? I couldn't. What about the Heat? Tough to say. Considering Westbrook does facilitate, I think OKC is the best team in the NBA right now. Statistically, they're not. OKC scores and that's about it; same thing for Miami. In fact, Miami is so bad at rebounding it seems they wouldn't stand a chance against taller Thunder, Spurs, or Clippers teams in the Finals. Statistically we should be looking at teams like New York (10th scoring; 8th scoring defense) or Indiana (1st scoring defense; 1st rebounding). But if I told you NY was the best team you'd laugh and if I said Indiana was the best team you'd laugh harder - but statistically they're better than OKC or Miami in most relevant categories. The LA Clippers might be the best team statistically as they score (9th), defend very well (4th), move the ball around well (5th), and despite not being a monster rebounding team statistically, they have a few 7-footers. I just can't see LAC's health and experience benefiting them at crunch time. Considering OKC's depth, age, experience, and star-power I would have to argue for them as the best team in the NBA right now. A lot hangs on Westbrook's shoulders. (Runner-up: San Antonio Spurs)

Worst Team

- MICHAEL JORDAN'S Charlotte Bobcats. Happy 50th MJ, you have - by far - the worst team in the NBA right now. Fewest wins, statistically abysmal. I tried to make an argument for the Phoenix Suns, but the more Jordan opens his post-retirement mouth the easier this decision was. OHHH BURNED!!! But seriously, if Jordan was still a true competitor he would spend less time trying to convince others (himself?) that he can still play and prove to everyone he can run. As in a franchise. Take a page out of Magic's book MJ, that's the way you do it. Maybe he can still play...but trust me, no one wants to see 10.9 ppg (I get these numbers from Michael Smith's NNL show) or an "old" man trying to get back at younger guys who just dunked on him. So MJ beat Michael Kidd-Gilchrist in a 1-on-1 game? That's says way more about Kidd-Gilchrist than Jordan, sorry. Get it together MJ, the legend dims with every bad draft pick (Kwame Brown) and every speech (HOF, any random interview).

Biggest surprise

- Has to be Spurs, right? At least in terms of having the best record and the 2nd best point differential - averaging 30 years old (experience). Coach Pop' never ceases to amaze...or coach. From picking up key additions to resting key players at key times (I REALLY wish SA had won that game v. Miami!) Coach Pop' continues to prepare his team for their perennial run. Besides that I'd have to go with James Harden. OKC is forced to trade James Harden due to cap reasons stemming from the new CBA, who ends up becoming a top-5 scorer. Not that Harden can't ball - he can ball big time (channeling my inner Stephen A. Smith) - but few saw him averaging over 26 ppg through 50 games. Not too much of a surprise? Teammate Jeremy Lin not living up to the giant contract...but that's not his fault.

Biggest disappointment

- Clearly it's the Lakers, right? I guess. I was actually going with the Brooklyn Nets on this one, but it's hard to argue with a 31-22 record. But that record should be more like 40-13. New arena, new city, new owners, big time players in D-Will, Brook Lopez, Joe Johnson, and Gerald Wallace - but Brooklyn seems to have stumbled to this 31-22 record. In a relatively weak East the Nets have shown more weakness, capped by D-Will's busted ankle. My first fantasy draft pick has been killing me all season, especially after passing up on Chris Paul. Unfortunately I didn't do my homework with that injury, nor did the Nets. Counting on him to facilitate everything hasn't been working, as he's experienced career lows in many statistical categories. Without D-Will playing at his highest level the Nets don't scare many people in the East, especially not with a 0.5 point differential. So why aren't the Lakers my biggest disappointment so far? Aren't high expectations required to warrant high levels of disappointment? Who really thought the Lakers would be a top contending team? Lots of people, but never me. After the Lakers lost out on their chance to buy their 17th Championship by inexplicably obtaining Chris Paul (PG was the one position that would have cemented the Lakers), the LAL tried to duplicate their 2004 season by bringing in a couple of seriously over-hyped (Howard) and equally over-the-hill stars/veterans (Nash/Jamison). The Lakers had to land a superstar after Stern nixed the trade that reeked of a fantasy league guru pulling a trade over on the clueless noob (although I feel Stern was way out of line here). So Howard was the obvious choice...a little too obvious. It seems no one in the Lakers front office took one second to think about a Kobe/Dwight relationship. Kobe hated Shaq, the most dominant, championship-laden, force of nature of my NBA generation, but Kobe knew. He knew. This was Shaq. Dwight Howard looks like a 7-foot birthday party clown who has to be reminded he's in the middle of a professional basketball game at times. Who thought this would fly with Kobe? They're polar opposites when it comes to this game outside of numbers. The ridiculous additions of Nash and Jamison speak for themselves, as the Lakers were clearly trying to put veterans - with little to no championship experience - with the greatest player of our generation as he tries to tie Jordan's ring total. The Howard addition is about the future face of the Lakers. It's...not working. On a personal note, I was seriously disappointed about Rondo's season-ending injury...until the Celtics started playing better without him.

MVP

- LeBron James, who else? The choice is as clear as his headband-hidden receding hairline. I have one, too, LeBron, but I can't rock the headband. As someone who bleeds green, I basketball hate "King" James, but I'm not dumb. I baseball hate Derek Jeter, too, and I wouldn't count that guy out at any point of any baseball game - unless he rolls an ankle. About the only place on the basketball court I wouldn't want James is the free throw line at crunch time, but THAT'S IT. The dude balls. This recent streak of 30 ppg while shooting 60+% is just more proof. With the childish Dwaye Wade injured half the time, and absolutely NO ONE ELSE ON THE TEAM (wait, is Bosh still there?). LeBron has carried this team more times than not. OK, Bosh is definitely playing at his highest Miami Heat level, maybe career, but still, LeBron goes, the Heat are done. James snapped his aforementioned streak the other night at 6 games. He fell short of continuing the 30+ppg/60+% streak, but he did score 39 points...on 58% shooting! Are you serious, LeBron? Runner-up? I'm going to say James Harden, who has these Rockets contending for the last playoff spot in the stacked West.

Finals predictions 

Miami Heat v. OKC Thunder. 

I have the Thunder winning in 6 games IF Russell Westbrook can keep his head, despite Dwayne Wade's bullshit. Miami simply cannot rebound with OKC over a 7-game series, and Kevin Durant proved the other night that he can literally dominate when he gets hot. After seemingly going 0-for-whatever v. Miami in the 1st quarter a few nights before the All-Star break, he blew up for 40 by games end bringing a blow-out within reach. I believe another year of experience will only help the Thunder as they exact revenge for 2011-2012 Finals. Remember, James Harden wasn't there last year either.

Alternate Finals: New York Knicks v. LA Clippers

I would HATE it if LA won a title when that piece of shit Don Sterling was still alive. But imagine if he died and his late drug-addicted son, who by the way literally got away with murder, had run the team? The Clippers rise and subsequent re-fall would have been meteoric. Perhaps I would basketball hate it even more if the "There's no you in team, just me" Knicks (29th in assists despite having one of the best PGs in the NBA) won the title. That's just the Boston in me talking.

Doubtful, but possible Finals: Brooklyn Nets v. San Antonio Spurs

NBA All-Star Weekend Review

Rising Stars game - I admit, I don't pay much attention. With a furry of talented young players coming into the league (e.g. Wall, Irving, Davis, Kidd-Gilchrist) we see these guys nightly in regular games, and we see them versus already "Risen" stars. So when we see Irving knocking down shots against the NBA's elite, it's hard to watch him dominate relatively sub-par players. Especially with Shaq as a coach of one of the teams. He was preaching running and hitting a ton of jumpers - two things he NEVER did. Sorry, can't buy this. Side note: Dudes like Davis and Irving should be balling with the grown ups during All-Star weekend.

Shooting Stars - Great in theory, horrible in practice. The only thing I remember is several retired stars and a few WNBA players heaving half-court shots...and missing badly. I could only hear Reggie Miller and Kenny Smith gloat about how many they'd be knocking down shots if they were out there so many times. Take the charity away from this things and it's about as pointless as one could imagine.

Skills Challenge - Tony Parker looked old, Jeremy Lin dropped the hometown ball, Jrue Holliday was fast, Damian Lillard was faster. Not too much to report here. Holliday and Lillard were <30 seconds.

3-point Shot Contest - OK, dudes like Paul George do not belong in this competition. I'm not on any selection committee, but really? He is 10th in 3 pointers MADE, but he's not even top-40 for 3FG%. Probably why he bombed in the competition. I suppose players have to actually commit to the contest, and be healthy...so maybe George replaced Kyle Korver. But I can't figure out why Klay Thompson wasn't shooting. Regardless, it was very entertaining. My predicted winner Stephen Curry started out slow, eventually caught fire to set things off, but was no match for the likes of New England native Matt Bonner, or the eventual champion, Kyrie Irving, who surprised me and I think a few others by not only winning, but almost breaking the contest record! He hit 23 in the Final Round to oust the awkward shooting Bonner on his way to adding yet another feather to his cap. By the way, Paul George is about to take center stage during these NBA playoffs.

Dunk Contest - This got so boring at one point other NBA players started tweeting that they were submitting applications for next year's contest. That speaks volumes. Gerald Green's first (contest opening) dunk from a behind-the-back pass off the side of the backboard was monstrous. James White's two-handed free throw line dunk was sick...despite lame props. Eric Bledsoe has SERIOUS HOPS. SERIOUS HOPS. The Manimal forgot it was a contest. One guy couldn't even dunk. Jeremy Evans' dunk over Mark Eaton was kind of cool, but took WAY too long. And finally Terrance Ross stole the show by stealing one of Vince Carter's dunks from a long...time...ago. The bottom line? Some ridiculously athletic, slightly original dunking that took several tries for many, and failed to wow for a few. As I said, several players started tweeting that they had to enter next year...I'm assuming to "save" the contest. That's easy. LeBron?

There you have it, my NBA mid-season review. See you in a few months for the NBA Playoffs Review coming in May.

- The Sports A-Phish-ionado

Trigger31.com

Super Bowl XLVII p'R'eview - The Morning After

   For one half of Super Bowl XLVII it appeared clear why one of my dream jobs - sports journalist - was never realized. Thankfully, the second half almost made me look like a genius, a 21st Century NostraSeanus, making the end result a not-so-horrible wrong call. So my confidence wasn't completely shot. Probably a bad thing. Regardless, I was wrong. Not about everything, but I was wrong. On the surface, because I predicted a 49ers win, but more specifically, because I stated the final score (29-23 SF 49ers) wouldn't represent the beating the 49ers put on the Ravens. That was only the second half. Here's a recap of my calls and how right/wrong I was:

- I said the key match ups were the 49ers rush defense against the Ravens rush offense, in which the 49ers D would dominate: I was right, they did. Ray Rice was held to under 60 yards rushing, and 3.0 YPC. I also said the game would hinge on Flacco's shoulders, which also ended up being true. Unfortunately I said this sarcastically as I did not expect Flacco to actually shine in that situation. (Note: MVP should have gone to Boldin)

- I said the young pistol offense led by Kaepernick would steamroll the Raven's old defense. Well that happened...several minutes into the second half. It basically took a 34-minute brown out and an approaching bedtime for Ray Lewis for the 49ers to get rolling, but by the end, the stats were padded (over 430 yards for the 49ers offense, most by a losing team in Super Bowl history...I think). And although the Ravens defense didn't get steamrolled, they certainly didn't look like the old Ravens, save perhaps the few vicious hits, cheap hits, and after-whistle brawls. And other than two non-calls for defensive off-sides by Ed Reed and Ray Lewis, I would have thought they joined Suggs in skipping the game. But they won, plain and simple.

- I said the Ravens Special Teams would shine, specifically Jacoby Jones. That happened.

- I said the Ravens coaching staff would out-coach the 49ers staff...that sort of happened. They did win, right? Going for a fake field goal at the 9ish yard line was dumb...but the hapless 1st half 49ers couldn't take advantage. So yeah, the Ravens won, so Johnny gets the nod.

- I said Colin Kaepernick would win the MVP. This actually would have happened had it not been for 1) a botched defensive off-sides call (Ed Reed) that cost the 49ers two points, which cost them the tie at the time, which forced them to go for a TD instead of a game-tying FG when the time came, or 2) Crabtree was given at least a chance to catch that ball in the end zone, i.e. an obvious defensive holding penalty was called, or at the very least 3) the 49ers got those precious 8 or so seconds back from that lame super slow motion safety. If any of those things went the 49ers way Colin Kaepernick would most likely have scored the game-winning TD (come on, the kid was on FIRE) and ended with way more than 300+ yards passing, 60+ yards rushing and 2 TDs, which were basically the same number Flacco ended up with, too.

I also said the score would be 29-23 49ers, when it was actually 34-31 Ravens. I was 11-2 points off, respectively, which means at the end of the day I pretty much nailed my 49er predictions and missed on many of my Ravens predictions, indicating a lack of respect for the Ravens. That's been my problem for the past 13 years. 

Congrats to the Baltimore Ravens on a deity-inspired season. Of all the places this deity has to be, it chose to stick by you guys for the past five weeks. Believable story.

More predictions to come. I promise.

Peace,

Phaulkner

Trigger31.com

Super Bowl XLVII pReview

   One of the few things that rivals Phish for my recreational attention is the NFL, and whether the New England Patriots are at their rightful place as AFC Champions or not, I'm interested. In fact, I wouldn't miss it, despite our beloved New England Bradies picking the most inopportune time - for the second year in a row - to go from an offensive powerhouse to...well, offensive. Things the Patriots seldom did all season became common practice in the AFC Championship game, just as they did in Super Bowl XLVI the season before: dropped balls...again; Brady hurrying throws...again; Special Teams mistakes...again; turn-overs...again. The one Achilles heal for the regular-season 2012 Patriots - a relatively young, inexperienced defense - had played better throughout the season and developed into a bright spot, perhaps capable of providing that last piece for another ring. That bright spot dimmed as well, showing few of the improvements they had amassed all season. Once Aqib Talib went down with a leg injury our very improved secondary looked weak, and the perennially dangerous Anquan Boldin set ablaze and ruined any chance of slowing them down. Add that to an annual Bernard Pollard bombing of one of most important players limbs, or in this case, head (this time it was our RB Steven Ridley*, who after being knocked out by a helmet-to-helmet hit by Pollard fumbled the ball to the Ravens essentially sealing the game for Baltimore), and you have the AFC player in this year's Super Bowl, the 47th installment of America's supposedly most beloved game. The NFC, of much less interest to me due to my affiliations, produced an anticipated match up between the league's best defense (SF 49ers) and one the of the league's best offenses (Atlanta Falcons). The game didn't disappoint nearly as much as the AFC Championship did - even if you were a Baltimore fan it was relatively boring - as a first half Falcons run-away flipped script for the second week in a row, but this time the Falcons couldn't maintain the magic and sent the 49ers to the big game for the first time since I was a junior in High School (OK, 1995). Here are my predictions for the key match ups, the score, and the MVP:

Key match ups

49ers run defense v. Ravens run offense: 49ers

The 49ers have the best front seven in the NFC, which means they have the best front seven in all of football, and this will be trouble for the Ravens. Giving up less than 95 yards per game on the gound, the Smith Brothers From Different Mothers and the LB wrecking crew of Bowman & Willis anchor a front seven that also includes the seldom heard of, but nearly equally dangerous Ahmad Brooks and Issac Sopoaga. I don't see Ray Rice & Crew getting through this wall, inside or out, putting the game squarely on the shoulders of Joe Flacco, the self-proclaimed best QB in the NFL. Let's see.

49ers young pistol offense v. Ravens aging "destined" defense: 49ers

This one is pretty simple for me. Colin Kaepernick, despite everything I looked for, seems to have no serious flaws for a guy with 10 starts going into the Super Bowl, save perhaps over confidence. Think any pros see that as a problem? He's lightning fast, has a canon accurate arm, and seems to learn quickly from costly mistakes - all recipes for a dangerous QB. The 49ers line is beastly, and gets big beastly on special packages, which would prove problematic for two young Haloti Ngata's, let alone one aging one. Frank Gore seems revived, if he even needed reviving, after being able to take the proverbial back seat to Kaepernick as he pistol whipped the NFC into submission the past several games. Oh yeah, then there's a suddenly dangerous WR crew, which has one formally busted 1st rounder earning his pay, and a future HOFer still pulling safeties his way. Add a constant threat in Vernon Davis and it seems pointless to even talk of the Ravens defense. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? THE BALTIMORE RAVENS DEFENSE?! Weak. Weaker than any we've seen since the last time these Ravens were in the Super Bowl - 13 years ago. Ray is old, and now distracted with the news of PED use for a quick recovery to the very game he won't be able to concentrate as hard on. The rest of this crew is old, too, and give up way too many yards and have way too many miles on the tires too keep up with this young tattooed up-and-comer. This one's going to take more then prayers, pacing and crying, and prolonged butt-crack sightings. I see the Ravens huffing, puffing, and getting blown down.

Ravens Special Teams v. 49ers Special Teams: Ravens

OK, one ruined their team's chances at a previous Super Bowl and rectified that problem by replacing the culprit with a  totally unjustified former top-10 draft pick who'll most likely commit the same error if given the chance in the bright spotlight. The other only improved with the addition of Jacoby Jones. Whoops, guessing game over. One actually was trying out two kickers going INTO the NFC Championship game. The other stole a game earlier this season from the Patriots on a questionable, but long clutch kick, and has been known to do the same in similar moments. That one I'll leave to you. Either way I give the ST nod to the needy Ravens...as in they need something, BAD.

Ravens coaching staff v. 49ers coaching staff: Ravens

Wait, they're brothers? Yes, we all know. Yes, I'm just as shocked as you the NFL didn't rig this sooner, as in last year. Here's to a few more years of Harbaugh Bowls!! I think this one is pretty simple, too. John has been around the NFL longer, has a more veteran staff, and has what seems to be a maturity notch above the ol' (or should I say 'lil') brother Jim. Neither have been to a Super Bowl, but clearly the older (by one year) has more NFL experience and that's what matters. I give the slight nod to the Ravens here. At least this butt pat won't end in a fight and a media frenzy...well, at least the former shouldn't happen.

Score

I have the 49ers winning Super Bowl XLVII 29-23. I expect the 49ers to score three offensive TDs (two rushing, one passing), kick two FGs (both by Aker's...sorry, bad joke maybe), and score one safety (got Smith getting this one...I won't say which color). I expect the Ravens to be completely shut down offensively, but still managing to score points based on big plays resulting in one offensive TD (passing), one Special Teams TD (Jones), and three FGs. The score will not represent a complete domination by the 49ers.

Super Bowl XLVII MVP

This one is actually easy, too. I'm going with @kaepernick7. Sorry, Colin Kaepernick. I'm used to Twitter. Kaepernick will be MVP, as only the fourth QB in NFL history to start the Super Bowl in the same season as his fist start in the NFL, and only the second in history to also win the Super Bowl MVP (Brady - correct me if either of the other two QBs also won MVP...but doubt it). With a rushing TD and a passing TD, the kid who'll make the Baltimore defense look out of gas most of the night will steal the show, resulting in such a massive ego next season that the entire 49ers team will eventually implode on itself and cease to exist.

   

   Enjoy the game, stay safe, and if you lose take it easy - remember, it's just a game...that means absolutely everything if you're a football fan. Seriously, these games suck on the losing end. You suddenly realize the season ended. You suddenly realize your team is the same as the Cleveland Browns or the Arizona Cardinals. Reality hits that you just lost that bet. Then it dawns on you how large a percentage of the crowd is just there for the party, and how most of those people are the 99%ers, which means they're fucking rich. Then you remember you're not rich, and that the Super Bowl is on a Sunday, and you have to work in the morning. Then it occurs to you that you live on the East Coast, where the game ends at midnight, despite having started at 6:30 p.m., so you have to go to that shitty low paying work in many fewer hours than originally anticipated. Then you question why you even watch these games, why people even care about sports, or why society is set up so that there even are Super Bowls, or rich people, or work. Then there you are again in April hoping your team's chances improve so that you can relive it again 365-so-odd days later. Such is life. And when that life hands you lemons, cut them in half and shove them into the eyes of your closest enemy. Then you'll both be miserable. Problem solved.

49ers win 29-23. Go Patriots!

Peace,

Phaulkner

(Formally Trigger Treinta Uno, who lost a mental gun control battle to myself)

Trigger31.com 

(as far as the Trigger part that stays here, it's actually a college basketball reference...and if you can guess it and you DON"T know me, I'll be terrified, becasue that would be super weird)

* Benard Pollard, for those unaware, was the culprit in several season/game-ending injuries that befell our beloved New England Patriots and ultimately affected an entire season or a playoff run/game: Brady (knee, 2008), Welker (knee, 2010), Gronkowski (leg/ankle, 2011), Ridley (head, 2012)

"The Year 2012 - in pReview" pReview

   Although I could count on one hand the number of people who have expressed disappointment in my blogging absence, I felt compelled to update the Phish blog site I have run for the past 18 months...OK, really just 6 of those months...as my Twitter followers have blown up from 29 to 60 in recent weeks, forcing me to face the embarrassment of an outdated website clearly linked to my account. Besides, being well over 100+ pages of actual 12-font text I've decided not to let my e-penned  thoughts add to the trillions of former, now most likely forgotten thoughts strewn upon the Internets black hole. In other words, I clearly felt my thoughts are worth something, and therefore reviving in even more public form than already exhibited. 

   I only attended eight Phish shows this year. Yes, that might seem like many to some, but to many not nearly enough; I agree with the latter, although that agreement didn't come as quickly as it would have in previous years, as I'm 34 now, and can only hear so many Suzy Greenberg's and the sing-alongs those "classics" incite. The reason I started a blog in the first place was to chronicle Phish tour as my crew of vets saw it, and to add some flavor to a bland supply of "Phish can do no wrong" reviews by Mr. Miner and the like. I felt  I accomplished that, and at least a few people seemed to enjoy it. I even inspired a few phriends to go out and do the same thing, although they'd never admit it (Imitation is the highest form of flattery). I promised myself that I would only pReview shows I personally went to, or at least had a close friend in attendance, willing to pay enough attention to blog about the entire experience. So clearly by the lack of any blogs since 2011-2012 MSG, it would appear I attended zero shows, and/or had no crew in attendance. Wrong on both counts - I attended eight whirlwind CA and MSG shows and my crew attended most of them - of course - but wanted nothing to do with my blog. I don't blame them, it's a pain in the ass, hence my absence, despite my attendance at the aforementioned shows, for the past year. It takes a lot to even attend many Phish shows, let alone chronicle them extensively, on the road, with MANY other things going on. So I flaked and basically abandoned my blog site. Well, like I said before, I'm back to rectify that. I will review the shows I attended (you don't care at this point, you say?...well, I'm going to anyway, especially after I saw my boy Phortin and his crew dish out some end of the year awards giving SF  a best set nod). 

   But if you recall, or should I say even ever read at all, my little bio/reasoning space within the blog site claimed that I would be blogging about Phish, science, and sports - can't say I've even broached those latter two subjects once. So that's what I plan to do. My next post will be a multi-part but concise 2012 Year in pReview (I only keep saying that to expand my brand). I will offer my opinions on the shows I attended, and the Phish year in general; a sports recap including the Red Sox fall into oblivion, the Patriots Groundhog year, my presence bringing championships to CA, and Manti Te'O acting the fool; I will also review Obama's reelection, the Republicans shooting off both feet and arms, gun control, and the final piece to me realizing what America is all about; finally I will recap the year in Faulkner - from the sudden death of my longtime graduate advisor and the collapse of my scientific career to the inspiration for my dedication to medical cannabis. Oh yeah, and I will also update relative information like photos, links, polls, and twitter handles. Stay tuned over the next week...if you care.

Peace,

Phaulkner (formally Trigger Treinta Uno, who died in a mental gun control fight with myself)

Trigger31.com (no, I'm not going so far to change the whole blog site name)

Whoops...

So I'll review the CA shows when I pReview the NYE12/13 MSG shows. Give me a break, I got bitter once the Denver webcast dropped and decided to channel my deepest "Dude" and say fuck it.

Not to say the CA shows weren't bomb, but their rankings dropped dramatically after the Second Annual Your A Clown If You Missed Denver shows.

So, see you soon...

In California With An Aching In My Heart (b/c I'm not on tour!)

     After moving out west and missing the entire first leg I figured a pReview blog was unnecessary - and it was. My intentions with the blog were almost solely to add some flavor - realistic flavor - to the myriad reviews already available, including the sometimes painful to read "Phish can do no wrong" reviews by the omnipresent Mr. Miner. (Note: We all appreciate and respect Mr. Miner). By the way, anyone think I can turn last year's blog into a book? No? I didn't think so. Anyway, our crew knows our shit and I had the ability and dedication to write consistently, so why not review the shows realistically since we were collectively at every one of them. So that's what I did, and so it didn't seem appropriate to review shows I didn't attend. And suffice it to say I wasn't exactly as inspired going into 2012 after 2011/NYE11-12 as I was going into 2011 after 2010, the Year of the Phish Revival. Well SeriousLeigh and I attended the CA shows and let's just say the inspiration is back as I embarked on the beginning of my 10th year of attending Phish shows (remember pholks, no 2001-2002 or 2005-2008). And although I won't pReview any of the remaining Second Leg shows for a lack of attendance, I will pReview MSG12-13 and I hope you'll read my review of the CA run. Let's just say that after an initial (but of course hilarious) Suzy Kick Me In The Balls that had me thinking I was in the midst of a Phish nightmare, the boys blew my wig yet again (for the most part) for the remaining time, including what could be argued as one of the best 3.0 shows yet (SF3).

Check back in a few days for the CA review and some more information as The Phish pReview lives on.

It was great to see everybody at the shows and our crew only grows stronger (new nicknames to come, stay tuned...)

Until then, enjoy the rest of tour and play it safe (to the seven people that will probably remember this blog site - spread the word that I'm still alive and sometimes writing).

- Trigger Treinta Uno

Trigger31.com

Phish Summer Tour 2012: End Of The World Tour

5-27-12 So as my summer plans have shaped up I realize my touring will be restricted to a few west coast shows and maybe a few pleasant surprises - in other words, I'm not really touring at all. Therefore, I don't see the point in reveiwing shows I won't be at...is that bad, I mean as far as dedication goes? I'll think about it tomorrow at Bryce Canyon. I suppose it's available upon request. <crickets chirping>

Maybe I'll see some of you guys this summer, maybe I won't. Phish should rock, maybe they don't. I know I'm not alone in monitoring the situation closely and determining my level of future dedication appropriately. Possum opens Worcester. Either way, Worcester summer opener??? BOMB. Have fun people, and play it safe.

- Trigger Treinta Uno


PREVIOUS POST:

MORE SHOWS ADDED! Check out Phish.com for the rest of the Summer 2012 Tour, which includes four west coast shows, some rare Midwest shows,  some southern love, and a return to Dick's in Denver, CO Labor Day weekend, the site of the best three shows of 2011, to round out the tour. So much for a "reduced touring schedule". I guess colleges are getting expensive. Summer tour is set and about to blaze in two short months. See you there...for some of it.

Previous announcement:

Check out Phish.com for all the latest on the recent summer dates. Presumably the first run, Phish will play a rare indoor summer tour opener in the central part of Phishville - Worcester - before bouncing around the East coast and Midwest from Bonnaroo to Atlantic City and from Portsmouth to Alpine Valley, with some favorite venues peppered in along the way, before rounding out the (first?) leg in SPAC. Check out the whole tour announcement on Phish.com!

As for me, I won't be doing the full tour this summer as we're moving west right before the Worcester shows kick off - so needless to say, there will be no show-by-show blog, unless someone wants to fill in when I'm not writing - until the second leg West coast run. Other than that look for my Phish Summer Tour 2012 pReview, coming Memorial Day Weekend!

See you Jones Beach - SPAC (...OK, maybe Worcester...)

- Trigger Treinta Uno

Trigger31.com

Water Has To Boil Before It Becomes Steam...

   So the one thing I'll say right off the bat is the NYE Steam gag was legendary. It was un-fucking-believable. I figured the gag would be Steam-related, and Miguel Cocineros said weeks ago he imagined the entire band being lifted - instruments and all - above the stage where they would take Steam to new levels, literally. That basically all happened, although not to the degree we imagined, with a speaker, the keytar, the (new?) vacuum, and several dancers hanging from the ceiling by ropes as if lifted by Steam while the band raged the new blast-off tune to the acrobatics and steam (smoke) filled MSG. It was truly epic. And yet, while it was one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my life, we left NYC feeling slightly cheated. How? Impossible you say? Well, cheated is a bad word. Perhaps this explains it better: I left MSG with plenty of dancing gas left and no more Phish shows to burn it on for at least five months (hopefully the Vegas rumors are true). That's not good. I've certainly never said that post-MSG. In fact, I can't remember ever leaving a NY Phish show with any gas left, save a random summer upstate show. What I'm trying to say is that it's tough to leave any city on the East Coast during a fall or winter tour show saying "meh", especially NYC. Maybe they weren't warm; maybe they weren't inspired; maybe they were anxious; maybe Trey was pissed after phans booed Joy (more on that later); maybe they just didn't care; maybe they didn't notice; maybe I'm in the minority; maybe I should just begin the review.

   Colonel Phortin and I rolled into NYC Wednesday afternoon uninterrupted from the quiet  hills of WMass to the insane streets of Midtown Manhattan and checked into the Affinia. Let's just say they are much cooler than The New Yorker and far more convenient. The staff was friendly and unassuming, the service impeccable, and the accommodations more than comfortable. We'll leave the New Yorker hate for 2010. Of course we have ways of ensuring a problem-free stay as a result of our 2010 issues; in fact, we're developing a guide, complete with suggestions and products for purchase. Stay tuned. The Colonel went his merry way and I met up with the hometown crew, which had been holding things down since Tuesday. The lamp was lit. With business already taken care of and my wife and brother-in-law on the scene from NJ, we prepared for what we thought was going to be the best four days of our lives since Denver. We saw the crew preparing the spaceship, and it looked as if it was going to take off, but as far as we can tell the spaceship hovered around Earth and never really ventured too far. It even stalled a few times. I remember a few twists and twirls on the way back down to the landing platform, but the ride was mediocre. But it didn't seem like it was going to go down that way...

12/28/11 Madison Square Garden, New York City

Night One: 2011 - The Year Of The Possum

Set I: Free (7:45), Glide (4:22) > Possum (10:12), Cities (10:38), Curtis Loew (5:37), Stash (11:03), Contact (6:42)> Sample (5:26), KDF (7:49) > Bathtub Gin (12:40) (T = ~83 minutes)

Set II: Birds (6:44), Carini (9:07) > Tweezer (12:21)> My Friend, My Friend (5:39) > Rock and Roll (12:17) > NICU (5:53), Bouncing (4:02), Hood (13:03) > Bug (9:25) (T = ~78 minutes)

E: Tube (3:18) > Rocky Top (2:32) > TweepriZe (4:15)

   I never thought that I'd say in hindsight that the first show of a four-night MSG run was the best show. Some have argued that the first Chicago show of that three-night run was the best, but that was Chicago...in the summer. This was NYC...in the winter. Blast off. Popping off. Going to new places. That's what we expect. And we're always willing to give passes for a Night One warm-up, especially after such a long break (104 days). The closest we got to that was, in fact, the first show, which turned out to be a shitty thing. But there were certainly moments. A quick glance at the set list might trick one into thinking Night One was sick. It wasn't. There were sick moments - some of the sickest of the entire run - but these shows were rare cases in which the set lists were better than they sounded. Let's review.
   Free opened a show for the first time in Phishtory and although it was weird, the place blew up. They stumbled through it in what seemed like some first song jitters. Those feelings seemed to be corroborated when the boys blasted into the first Glide in 89 shows (MSG '09)! I was especially pumped as I hadn't seen Glide since 9/8/2000 (Albany)...oh yeah...they did play Glide at Coventry, didn't they? I had forgotten...on purpose. This Glide rocked, but unfortunately went > Possum. Of course, it was the year of the Possum. They played Possum 15 times in 2011 in 39 shows (38%). I saw 13 of them. I enjoyed 2.5 of them. This one was OK like most of the others. An OK is like a "C" in my book. I hate Possum. Isn't Phish sick to death of this song? The inevitable Cities followed and turned out to qualify for the jam of the MSG run. This shit got DEEP. Unfortunately this jam did not reach the heights it could have, but it was so sick it didn't matter. At this point we're thinking this run might trump Denver with a jam that sick so early. In hindsight it's so sad it didn't come close. The first Curtis Loew since Raleigh followed and was of the highlights of the weekend; too bad it was so short. A standard Stash preceded the first Contact in 59 shows (8/13/10 Deer Creek - thunderstorm show?), which was another weekend highlight. Contact > Sample (meh). KDF rocked the house and blasted > Gin, which did not reach the heights Gin has been reaching lately. Regardless, there were moments, and Set One was in the books. It would turn out to be one of the best, if not the best set of the weekend.
   Set Two opened with Birds, which had the place jumping. A 2011 Set Two standard Carini followed and went > a pretty sick Tweezer with the becoming-standard Streets Of Cairo tease > a standard My Friend > a R 'n' R that did not meet 2011 standards (although it contained a Birds jam) > a beautifully segued NICU. It may well have been the best segue of the weekend. Tweezer and R 'n' R, two standard launching pads, failed to initiate any galactic venturing. Not even close. And when they went into Bouncing, we heard the first of several groans so loud it overwhelmed the music for a second in the upper 300 sections. Fucking weird. A predictable Hood followed and went > a sick Bug, one of the few perfectly placed tunes of the weekend. A Tube encore for only the second time in Phishtory (6/26/94 Charleston, WV) disguised the fact that it remained under the four-minute mark, a 3.0 standard at this point. Tube > Rocky Top > TweepriZe. The first show was in the books and we were excited because the first show was pretty sick for a first show, especially after such a long break (104 shows - notice how I keep saying that?). It would be the best show.

12/29/11 Madison Square Garden, New York City

Night Two: Thank you, Lifeboy, You Made My Run Worth It

Set I: The Sloth (4:58), YEM (19:07), Back on the Train (6:31), Moma Dance (7:02), Funky Bitch (7:12), Maze (9:59), Roses Are Free (5:32), Halley's Comet (7:05) > Antelope (10:36) (T = ~79 minutes)

Set II: Crosseyed and Painless (10:35) > Simple (8:31) > Lifeboy (7:59) > Guyute (10:59), Mike's Song (7:51) > Chalkdust Torture (5:55) > Hydrogen (2:38) > Weekapaug (10:05), Show of Life (6:41) > Character Zero (8:34) (T = ~82 minutes)

E: Loving Cup (6:40)

   Yet another case of a set list alone fooling someone. This shit looks off-the-chains at first glance. And again, there were off-the-chains moments. But overall the set list reads better than it sounded. The Sloth blasted off and everyone was raging immediately. But it was too short and choppy. A rare beginning first set YEM followed, but again, was way too short. The funk barely lifted off before they got into the Vocal Jam. BOTT followed and was swampy as usual, but again, was on the short side. What the fuck? Why play these songs so soon and place them at the beginning of the first set and not jam them out? It was so frustrating, but of course we took it in stride. It's Phish. It's MSG. The bombs are on the way. Moma Dance...finally. A seven-minute version. Dude, seriously. What the fuck? A standard Funky Bitch followed, then a Maze that started to get to that dark place. An oddly placed but always sick Roses followed. Do you realize that 28 Roses have never followed the same song twice in Phishtory? That's interesting. Another interesting fact is that from the 12/11/97 debut in Rochester to Telluride (15 times) there were only four Roses gaps of less than 14 shows. Since Telluride there hasn't been a Roses gap of more than 11 shows and they've played it 13 times. What's the sudden love for Roses? I'm not complaining, but find the trend interesting. A short and uninspiring Halley's > Antelope closed out the set.
   A Set Two standard opener Crosseyed opened Set Two...I hate redundancy. I especially hate it when things are repeated. Crosseyed was standardly sick (coining words here) went > a decent Simple > into the highlight of the MSG run Lifeboy for the first time in 89 shows (12/30/09 Miami!) and only the second time of 3.0 (8/9/04 Hampton!!) > a standard but sick Guyute. That's the other sick segue. That was it, although that's nothing to turn any nose up at. Regardless, this segue did not match the standard 2011 platform for such songs, with the exception of the Lifeboy bust-out, again, one of the MSG run highlights. A Mike's Groove followed, which contained one strange attempt at creativity when Trey tried to force a Chalkdust > Hydrogen mid-Mike's Groove jam that sort of worked, but was so oddly placed that even our sober veterans were confused asking "Is that Hydrogen?". It was, and it was a nice moment, but very strange. Show of Life > Character Zero ended the set leaving most of us wondering what the hell happened to the moments that seemed destined for us after such a strong beginning. Maybe the encore would make up for it. Maybe Loving Cup would make me want to exit down the side staircase head-first. As my boy Miguel Cocineros said post-show: "At least they have to be done with the wankery at this point". Not so fast my friend, my friend.

12/30/11 Madison Square Garden, New York City


Night Three: Even If Vultures Are Moving In, You Can't Force A Theremin


Set I: PYITE (8:36) > Prince Caspian (6:47) > BDTNL (6:51), Nellie Kane (3:05), Divided Sky (16:03), Sand (9:39), Vultures (5:48), Rift (6:06), Joy (5:58), Quinn (6:14) (T = ~76 minutes)

Set II: Wilson (5:10) > Axilla (3:31) > Piper (15:16) > Twist (7:29) > Julius (7:14) > Golgi (4:48) > 2001 (7:23) > The Horse (1:06) > Silent in the Morning (4:47) > Bowie (12:28), Squirming Coil (10:45) (T = ~81 minutes)

E: Boogie On (6:21), GTBT (5:48)

  I've said in the past that you'd be hard pressed to find a show that opened with PYITE that wasn't sick. I found one. Prince Caspian out of PYITE was one of the biggest boner-beaters I've ever been a part of at a Phish show. It was awful. The only cool thing was that it was unfinished. Then the oddly placed BDTNL, which was only cool because they gave a shout-out to Fishman's daughter due to her December 30th birthday. I love BDTNL, but lately it's been lacking. See Raleigh if you're looking for bomb BDTNLs. Nellie Kane blasted off and was sick, and Divided Sky always has potential, but Gordo botched the jam and it stayed pretty standard. A very oddly placed Sand was a Night Three highlight, but our chatty homeboy talked through the first four minutes. Vultures had potential to blast off, but the boys botched that, too. It was awful. Rift was decent, but then I wanted to punch phans in the eye when Trey went into Joy and people started loudly booing. Are you people fucking serious? The guy's sister died of cancer. He wrote a song for her as she was dying. I will kill you if I see you booing that song ever again. If you have a problem sit the fuck down and smoke a bowl. Boo and die. Quinn was sick and ended the set.

    Set Two opened with a standard Wilson and went > a standard Axilla which went > a Piper that reached decent depths, but the theremin was obviously forced into jamming in a failed attempt to duplicate the Denver Piper on some level (which will forever be impossible) > a decent Twist > a standard Julius > a boring Golgi > an uninspiring but at some points funkspace-tic 2001 > a Horse Trey almost forgot > a soul caressing Silent > a standard Bowie complete with previous set song teases. It was another segue team that looked strong on paper but lacked team chemistry. The Piper was the obvious highlight, and reached pretty sick places, but the theremin was slightly forced and could not bring the jam to the levels the crowd or the band was looking for. A decent  Squirming Coil rounded out the set. A pretty bouncy Boogie On blasted off the encore before GTBT ended the show. They only had one more night. Apparently they were saving all the great newer tunes, the potential debuts, and the ether for NYE, right? Right??

NYE 12/31/11 Madison Square Garden, New York City

Night Four: The Run Goes Up in Steam In What Should Have Been The Golden Age Of 2011

Set I: AC/DC (6:29) > Wolfman's Brother (7:47), Scent of a Mule (8:02), STFTFP (5:41), Lawn Boy (2:45), Gotta Jibboo (9:32), Farmhouse (6:16), Pebbles and Marbles (8:16), Ocelot (8:21) > Fluffhead (15:14) (T = ~79 minutes)

Set II: Party Time (7:19), Light (12:05) > Golden Age (8:37) > Theme From the Bottom (8:13), Heavy Things (5:29) > Ghost (9:17) > Sneakin' Sally (5:46) > 46 Days (6:13) > Suzy Greenberg (6:59) (T= ~70 minutes)

Set III: Cavern (5:18), Steam (11:08) > Auld Lang Syne (2:46) > DWD (11:34), The Wedge (6:15), Alaska (8:16), Wading in the Velvet Sea (5:40), First Tube (8:53) (T = ~60 minutes)

E: Slave to the Traffic Light (9:22)


   AC/DC opened the show and was the first AC/DC in 13 shows, by far the longest AC/DC gap of 3.0. AC/DC went > a decent Wolfman's. Scent Of A Mule followed before STFTFP. Lawn Boy followed before the boys launched into a decent Jibboo, which was interrupted by a bizarrely placed Farmhouse. Pebbles And Marbles picked up the pace and gave us something fresh to chew on before the slow, boring, unjammable Ocelot came out of the jungle and bored everyone to death. Ocelot > the overplayed and far-too-long Fluffhead. It's hard to imagine that we were crying and begging for that song during the Anniversary show in Boston...remember the Fluffhead video? We all thought we were finally going to get it after years. Now I'd trade Fluffhead for the opening in Bouncing and 1/13th of Suskind Hotel.
   Set Two opened with the expected Party Time, and everyone finally thought the wankery was officially over, especially when they blasted into Light. This Light got as deep as any jam during the week, save maybe Cities. It was definitely one of the highlights of the week and certainly one of the best - if not the best - jam. It was SICK.The Light jam crept into a faint Golden Age riff and it seemed as though all was returning to normal in jam space...not so. This Golden Age was as botched as any sick segued Golden Age could be botched. It took Phish several measures just to try to reshape the jam and continue on. They recovered decently, but then continued to botch the song every chance they had to try and launch it. It was awful. The Golden Age jam turned out OK, and went right > Theme, another highlight of the weekend. Unfortunately they cut Theme and laid an unnecessary Heavy Things right onto my lap, which crushed my balls. Then they blast into Ghost! WHAT THE FUCK?! Why Heavy Things?! Such odd placement!! This Ghost was pretty sick and went > Sneakin' Salley, which was short and did not jam in the least. Disappointing would be an understatement to describe this Sneakin' debacle. Why bother if you're not going to lift off? Sneakin' Salley > 46 Days, which was actually one of the better 46 Days I remember hearing in a long time. Unfortunately 46 Days went > Suzy, which I think would be the worst song ever written by Phish if it weren't for the 30 seconds they give Page to blast off. Give Page 10 minutes and I'll change my Suzy attitude. Until then, fuck her. Things were getting ugly. This gag better pop off.
    Set Three opened shortly before midnight with Cavern, and this shit was deep. Gordon was poppin' off like he was making up for the whole band's four nights of mediocrity. It was sick. It was on the short side, but ended to the noise of a tea kettle going off. Uh oh...STEAM!!! I have to admit, at first I knew it was a tea kettle steaming...then I started second-guessing myself and actually thought something on stage had caught on fire!! It was a pretty strange and scary 10 seconds, but was immediately turned to EPIC JOY as we heard Steam slowly creep in. OK, what happened next was EPIC. YouTube it...ask your friends...look at the band's pictures. They're worth 1000 words, remember? I can't take the time to explain what we saw, but speakers, keytars, and vacuums were floating, people were hanging dancing from the jumbo-tron, and Trey and Cactus were standing on small platforms 20-feet above the stage. Or they were running in circles around the stage amid a sea of 1000s of giant balloons. It was unreal. They did the countdown and then blasted into the obligatory DWD as we launched into 2012. What a way to start the year. The Wedge popped off, Alaska got the place bouncing, and Wading slowed the place back down and settled heartbeats. It was coming to an end. First Tube rounded out the set, and despite the dangling keytar, we were sent home with a Slave rather than Frankenstein. So strange...why dangle the keytar then?
   And so ended the MSG NYE 2011 Run. 83 minutes was the longest set. 220 minutes is probably shorter than some of the two-set summer shows they played and it was a three-set NYE show, although it was longer than the 2010 NYE show. At least the 2011 NYD show that run featured a 97-minute set. I'm just saying. There were more greatest hits then modern-era tunes. There were as many murders as debuts. There were more botches than jams. And there were about as many bust-outs as shows. After 2009 and 2010, years which featured consecutive record breaking rotations, 2011 seemed like the rotation was limited to Possum, Bowie, Fluffhead, Suzy, and Bowie with overplayed songs like Crosseyed, Sand, and Golden Age disguising the rotational issues. Then again, it's hard to keep outdoing yourself. The scene was epic, and it's always great to see our various crews and all the phans. That usually goes without saying. Despite warnings, the new MSG layout actually wasn't too bad. That was a nice surprise. The Affinia was sick, and left us wanting to go back. That was a pleasant surprise, too. But we go for the music, and that was lacking, despite shining moments. No jamming. No real flow. Everyone fucking talking and signing like it was a fucking Pearl Jam show. Weird placement of songs. Where the fuck is Izabella, La Grange, My Left Tow, Jennifer Dances, If I Could, The Inlaw Josie Wales, The Old Home Place, Dog Log, Bittersweet Motel, Spock's Brain? No insane bust-out other than Glide and Lifeboy? I mean, we do appreciate it. What about the not-so-crazy bust-outs? What about Halfway To The Moon, Suskind Hotel, Walls Of The Cave, Clone? What about standards like Reba??? So what the fuck happened? Sure, there were shining moments, but the last three years have been pretty sick. How do they lay the proverbial egg, when everyone was expecting them to blast off, especially after such a sick Chicago/Denver run only a few months before? Well, therein lies one of the answers. These guys have a lot going on. Side projects, families, other obligations. They took 104 days off. They're too old and play far too seldom to take 15 weeks off from each other and expect to launch off, but the sad thing is they didn't sound like they even rehearsed that much. Maybe I'm wrong, but it didn't sound like it. Fall tour was the key to the 2010 MSG run. Those AC Halloween shows popped off and set the stage for a rocking NYE Run. That was a 56-day break...this was almost twice as long. No fall tour = no epic holiday run. There are those that say they mailed it in. There are those that say they only do it for the money and that the passion is gone. I'd like to think they're busy and didn't have time to rehearse, which was insulting enough. But they're only human, and as they proved in Denver, they still know how to turn it on. But they didn't in NYC and that's what hurts. And now we may have to wait six months for some sort of redemption. Hopefully it comes then and the Vegas rumors are true. Whenever it is, we'll be chomping at the bit because everyone would probably agree that the run was not as musically stimulating as they expected, especially for MSG.
   So 2011 has come and gone. It was an incredible year for Phish, despite the less-than-inspiring end to it all. Just remember the sick NYD show almost a year ago. Remember the No Quarter bust-out at PNC. Remember the Steam debut at Cuyahoga. Remember the Daniel Saw The Stone, Buried Alive, and Lonesome Cowboy Bill bust-outs at Merriweather. Remember Mound > Mayhem > Mound in Alpharetta. Remember the whole fucking First Leg southern run weekend. Remember the Super Ball IX festival and the unbelievable Destiny, Gin, and Times Loves A Hero. Remember that crazy fucking Gorge Rock 'n' Roll > Meatstick jam. Remember that Dog Stole Things bust-out in Tahoe and that EPIC Second Day Second Set. Remember the FIRE Chicago run. Remember the even hotter Denver run, which included the two 2011 Jams Of The Year Tweezer and Piper. Remember the theremin. Remember the benefit show that raised a ton of money for VTers in need. And soon we'll be remembering the epic bust-outs Glide and Lifeboy at MSG along with that unbelievable Steam stunt that will forever be burned into our heads. So although 2011 ended with us wanting, we know Phish will be back to write another chapter soon. I'll see you there...

- Trigger Treinta Uno

Trigger31.com

Thanks to Phish.net & LivePhish for the set list help. Thanks to the Affinia-Manhattan for being so cool. Thanks to our crews from around the country - LA, Denver/Boulder, Philly, and Mass - you know who you are. We love you guys with all of our hearts and can't wait to see you next tour - or even sooner. Thanks to Daniel Saw The Stone, Colonel Phortin, Ice Berger, Henry The Third, and Alex The Great for hooking tickets. Thanks to Meghan and family for the hospitality. Thanks to Henry The Third for the brilliant room idea, and thanks to Makin' It Rainer, Sam Wise and Runaway Jim for hooking the scene. Thanks to the Inlaw Josie Triggers for watching the dog. And finally, thanks to the boys for making it all happen. We can't thank you enough. We love you, Phish. Now let's shelve Possum and Suzy.

MGS11-12: It's About To Get Steamy

   Considering a few of our more anxious contemporaries have used the Mayan calender to predict the end of the world in 2012 (OK, so it's not supposed to happen until next December) I find it fitting to round out 2011 - an incredible Phish year - with a four-night run in NYC at the legendary Madison Square Garden. Last year's run, which included two shows at the DCU Center in Worcester, MA (apparently because they couldn't book MSG for four nights last year), produced five of the better shows of 2010...and 2011 (the unprecedented 1/1 show). The hot dog fed everyone for the third - and most likely final - time as what seemed like hundreds of dancers from all over the world sang and grooved to Meatstick on stage. It was a pretty special run, capped off by an incredible NYE show and an unprecedented NYD show. What's the plan this year? Apparently - according to my rock solid sources - Phish is planning on doing something that has never been done at MSG...wow. Unless they're talking about helping the Liberty win their first WNBA Championship, I like what I hear. Perhaps Steamed Hot Dogs??? Nah, I'm sure every one's had their fill of hot dogs. Whatever it is it'll blow our minds, that's for sure. What about the music? Hopefully the boys warm up a bit in VT or NYC after a 104-day break (almost twice as long as the break between Halloween and Worcester last year), but if last year's NYE Run set lists are any indication this run will be a barn burner, complete with song debuts. Let's review last year:

12/27/10 DCU Center, Worcester, MA

Set I: Sample (5:59), Funky Bitch (7:22), Cool It Down (8:45), Roggae (10:13), Heavy Things (6:16), What Things Seem (8:03), Roses (5:15) > It's Ice (7:11), Mountains in the Mist (6:51), Julius (9:40) (T = ~75 minutes)

Set II: Mike's (9:04) > Mound (5:50), Weekapaug (8:57), Farmhouse (6:19), Seven Below (9:23) > What's the Use? (5:53) > Twenty Years Later (6:51) , Velvet Sea (7:00), Possum (9:47) > Cavern (4:30) > Bowie (12:08) (T = ~86 minutes)

E: Loving Cup (6:31)

   The first set was a classic warm-up set. A Sample opener was followed by a standard Funky Bitch before the boys launched into Cool It Down for the first time since Albany the year before (54 shows). A long, sick Roggae and hoppy Heavy Things followed before the first set heated up a bit with the second What Things Seem ever (MG song) and the clear Set One highlight Roses > It's Ice. Mountains In The Mist and Julius closed out the set. The Second Set was like a different show as Phish had clearly warmed up.
   A pimp Mike's > the first Mound in 74 shows (Red Rocks '09). A somewhat standard but rockin' Weekapaug closed the 'Groove before Farmhouse provided the breather. The next 15 minutes was a personal highlight for me with a sick Seven Below > What's The Use? > Twenty years Later. TYL is great, but TYL really should be reserved to cap the longer jams. In other words, if Seven Below > WTU? is 40+ minutes, give me some TYL...if the jam is <20 minutes total, let's figure something else out. Or how about this next time: Mike's > Mound, Seven Below > WTU? > Hydrogen > Weekapuag. It blends beautifully, try it. Velvet Sea - which is practically the same style song as TYL - followed before the set rounded out with 26 minutes of standard Possum > Cavern > Bowie, although the Bowie was slightly long. Trey told us to take care of our boots instead of our shoes in Cavern. The standardization continued with a Loving Cup encore. The Second Set had it's moments, but all in all Phish used the DCU Center to get warmed up Night One. It worked.

12/28/10 DCU Center, Worcester, MA

Set I: KDF (10:05), My Mind's Got a Mind of its Own (2:49), Alaska (10:32), She Caught the Katy and Left Me a Mule to Ride (4:21), Wolfman's (10:49), Pigtail (6:46), Stash (13:40), Bouncin' (3:40) > Rift (6:19), STFTFP (7:12), Birdwatcher (2:38) (T = ~80 minutes)

Set II: Carini (8:51) > BDTNL (7:40) > BOTT (9:19) > LxL (8:53) > Wedge (6:36) > Frankie Says (5:25) > Albuquerque (4:40), Harry Hood (16:39) > Bug (9:56) (T = ~79 minutes)

E: Shine a Light (6:10)

   I love KDF and feel it's one of the best tunes to kick off any show. This 10-minute rocker was perfect and set the place on fire right off the bat. MMGAMOIO followed - the first in 56 shows (Albany '09) - and hasn't been played since. Next was Alaska, which featured Trey playing Sarah Palin saying "Alaska" in her high-pitched, backwoods, moronic tone through some recording device - it was fucking hilarious. "Alaska"..."Alaska"...everyone was cringing and laughing at the same time, like we were collectively watching a drunk chick fall down a set of stairs at a party on the jumbo-tron. Classic.  Bombshell time: She Caught The Katy And left Me A Mule To Ride!!! 323 shows since the last time played (7/21/98 Phoenix) and only the second time since my 10th birthday (7/30/88 in Telluride)! Some times those bust-outs are worth the price of admission alone. A nice long, funky Wolfman's followed before the debut of Pigtail. A large Stash was consumed before we Bounced right into Rift. STFTFP followed before Phish closed out the set with their collective debut of the A Capella Birdwatcher.
   The Second Set blasted off with almost an hour of Carini > BDTNL > BOTT > LxL > Wedge > Frankie Says > Albuquerque. BLAST OFF. BOTT contained Streets Of Cairo teases, Frankie Says ended an 82 show absence streak (6/16/09 St. Louis), and Albuquerque was beautifully played for the first time in 60 shows (11/21/09 Cincinnati). A classic Hood followed, complete with Spanish Harlem teases, which > Bug to close the set. The 'Stones cover Shine A Light, in which I have replaced the lyrics "Good Lord" and "they" in the chorus with "Kuroda" and "Phish", respectively, encored to close out the Worcester section of the 2010 NYE Run and as usual, it didn't disappoint... entirely. I'm not saying the Worcester shows were weak by any stretch, but they were relative to old school Worcester shows. Either way it was a great way to kick off the run as the boys prepared for mayhem in Gotham City.

  

12/30/2010 Madison Square Garden, New York City


Set I: Cities (5:50), Chalkdust Torture (6:32), Gumbo (4:47) > Quinn the Eskimo (4:25), Halley's Comet (6:11) > Camel Walk (4:51), Maze (11:31), Driver (4:12), Bathtub Gin (12:35), Fat Man in the Bathtub (5:32), Timber (Jerry) (5:55) > Golgi Apparatus (4:43), Character Zero (7:29) (T =~85 minutes)


Set II: Tweezer (18:48) > Light (9:33) > Theme From the Bottom (7:23) > My Friend, My Friend (5:40) > Axilla (3:22), Fluffhead (14:09), Boogie On Reggae Woman (5:20) > 2001 (6:57) > Suzy Greenberg (7:26) (T = ~78)


Encore: Run Like an Antelope (10:47) > TweepriZe (3:44)


   The first night in MSG set off immediately with the expected Cities, and this version made it clear that Phish intended to shake frames. Chalkdust followed, possibly a nod to those in the audience who had just finished a semester. We found plenty of time to stash the Gumbo, which went right > Quinn. Everything was pretty standard and on the short end, but nothing lacked on the rock or roll end. Then things got a bit out of control. Halley's > Camel Walk, which was so bomb that the PA system couldn't handle it. A long, sick, dark Maze followed then Driver, which hadn't been played since the previous NYE Run (Miami 12/29/09, 49 shows). The next 30 minutes burned the fucking place to..the...ground. A sick Gin started things off before the kept the tub theme going with Fat Man In The Bathtub, only the second time played ever (Halloween '10). The always bomb Timber rolled on us right > Golgi before Character Zero rounded out the set.
   The Second Set took no prisoners right off the bat as the boys launched into a segue for the ages that began with what might have been the longest Tweezer of the year or since at nearly 19 minutes! Tweezer > a sick Light > THE Theme From The Bottom > into a My Friend My Friend that cut us up (no "myfe" ending) > a witch-out-the-ditch Axilla that had the place on edge. Think about it: Those are four serious tunes to segue through. And they took almost 45 minutes. DAMN. Fluffhead, an obvious phan phavorite, but a somewhat long an overplayed song (despite many Fluffhead-free years) followed. Don't get me wrong, Fluffhead is a classic, but you know what I mean. Phish has several "suites" (YEM, Fluffhead, Hood, Slave, Guyute, TTE etc.), and I love them all. But if you're particularly tired of one...OK, if it's to the point where you can't fucking stand it...then they can be difficult to deal with, if not for anything else because you're in it for 15+ minutes. That might be where Fluffhead is for some people...just saying. It was still great and was followed by a sick segue to round out the show with a monster Boogie On > a too-short but still groovy 2001 > that bitch Suzy Greenberg...that's a classic "Yeah...ehh...meh" segue, but a rager no less. The encore featured a decent Antelope which > in the inevitable TweepriZe to close out Night One at MSG. We were hunkered down and ready to take in the next few nights...with a few chuckles about the absence of any modern era banners hanging from Madison Square Garden to pass the time. (By the way, the real Garden was Boston, don't get confused. When you refer to "The Garden" you're talking about Boston...I don't care what anyone outside of NE says...so you call MSG what it is: The Madison Square Garden. If you need a history lesson, I'll be happy to meet you in the MSG halls for a quick tutorial.)


12/31/11 Madison Square Garden, New York City



Set I: Punch You In the Eye (8:34) > AC/DC Bag (6:26) > The Moma Dance (6:40) > Scent of a Mule (8:38), Burn That Bridge (6:55), Weigh (5:13) > Ocelot (8:37), Beauty of My Dreams (3:32), Gone (5:43), Rock and Roll (8:15) (T = ~70)


Set II: Wilson (4:46) > 46 Days (7:27), Sand (10:23), NICU (5:16) > DWD (10:02) > Ghost (13:48), YEM > Manteca > YEM (17:55 total) (T = ~70)


Set E: Meatstick (18:21), Auld Lang Syne (1:12), After Midnight (6:40), BDTNL (6:58) > Piper (5:01) > Free (7:16), Waste (5:21) > Slave to the Traffic Light (10:50), Grind (2:40) (T = ~64)


Encore: First Tube (8:37)


   Like I've said many times in the past PYITE is the jump-off. I challenge you to find a shitty show initiated by PYITE. PYITE > AC/DC (uh oh...out of order Gamehenge...jk) > Moma Dance > Scent of a Mule. Now that's how you start a fucking show! 30 minutes of heat to warm the place up immediately. The debut of Burn That Bridge followed before the boys busted out the first Weigh since Portland (11/29/09 56 shows)...Weigh...what a fucking treat. Weight > Ocelot, which contained Auld Lang Syne teases. Beauty Of My Dreams - the first in 133 shows (7/22/03 Deer Creek) - followed and was quite the XMas/Hanukkah gift. Another drought came to an end with the second Gone ever and first since 12/30/09 (Miami 49 shows). A rare set-closing R 'n' R ended the set as the atmosphere in MSG was reaching epic proportions.
   Wilson kicked off the Second Set and blasted right > 46 Days...wow. Sand...jesus. This was going to be ugly...and I'm coining "Ugly" as a positive adjective. NICU with more Lang > a ridiculous DWD > an even more ridiculous Ghost. 30 more minutes of MAYHEM. Looked like my first NYE in four attempts was going to live up to expectations, which is saying a lot considering Phish's NYE phishtory. It only got better: YEM > Manteca > YEM to close out the Second Set. What the fuck??? 301 shows since the last Manteca!!! The Utica Manteca was only given tease status, so this Manteca, which continued in the YEM Vocal Jam, was the first since the pre-Halloween Vegas show in 1998!!! Dude, what were the guys planning for ball drop?
   Well, what they were planning was exactly what I could've hoped for missing so many prior NYE shows. THE HOT DOG!!! Oh, wait. OK, so the came out for the Third Set and blasted into Meatstick...uh oh. Meatstick was just fucking crazy, that's about all I can say. The boys left stage after roaring through Meatstick and kept the tune on loop...which was a mind-fuck in itself. As Meatstick rages but the boys were no where to be seen, dancers dressed in garb from around the globe filled the stage singing Meatstick in their respective languages!! WHAT?! Dude, there were like 100 people on stage from around the globe singing and dancing to Meatstick! WHERE THE FUCK WAS PHISH?!?! Yeah, they were boarding a hot dog, THE hot dog, which floated in the air above the crowd as Phish threw plastic hot dogs - that would end up on eBay for $100 - all over the crowd...fucking floor rats, you lucky pricks. This hot dog slowly floated below the rafters as Meatstick raged on loop as smoking hot faux Swedish chicks danced and sang on stage. EPIC. The show could've ended there, but it didn't. The boys launched into Auld Lang Syne after landing and then blasted into a most appropriate After Midnight. Absolutely crazy...we were dead center in the back with hands on heads and smiles you couldn't have shot off. I got my hot dog...I got my NYE moment. Now I can die. Things slowed down a bit because 1) the boys are old and 2) the previous mayhem would be tiring for anyone at any age. But that's not to say anything disappointed. BDTNL > Piper > Free. Waste > Slave followed (a possible nod to those trying to navigate the crazy Times Square area NYE streets after the show) before the boys capped it off with A Capella Grind. A rockin' First Tube closed out my first NYE show after touring since 1997, and I have to say it was one of the greatest Phish experiences of my life. Unbelievable song choices, space funk, mayhem, debuts, bust-outs, hot dogs, hot Swedes, NYC, NYE...shit, it was unbelievable. Now we had the unprecedented 1/1 show...shit show.


1/1/11 Madison Square Garden, New York City


Set I: My Soul (6:23), Tube (4:41) > Runaway Jim (7:33) > Foam (8:16), Guelah Papyrus (5:44) > Divided Sky (16:25), Round Room (4:31) > Walk Away (6:48) > Gotta Jibboo (10:13) > Reba (12:24), Walls of the Cave (13:31) (T = ~97!)


Set II: Crosseyed and Painless (12:29) > Twist (9:50) > Simple (11:45), Sneakin' Sally through the Alley (9:27) > Makisupa Policeman (8:15) > David Bowie (12:02) (T = ~65)


E: Fee (6:10), Frankenstein (5:20)



   Part of me almost says this show topped NYE. OK, not in antics, but possibly in music. My Soul - which hasn't been played since - opened the show and it was on. Tube > an incredibly short Runaway Jim > Foam. There's some classic Phish for you. The always spine-tingling Guelah Papyrus sailed us on the ocean of Osyrus right > The Divided Sky. There's some more classic Phish for you. A rare Round Room (only played five times, first in 140 shows - 7/13/03) followed the phishtory lesson which went > a SICK Walk Away > a groovy Gotta Jibboo > into a classic Reba sans whistling. The First Set closed out with my new favorite jump-off Walls Of The Cave. EPIC.
   The Second Set launched with Crosseyed which > a bomb Twist > a chest-thumping Simple. Skyballs and Saxscapers. They're everywhere in NYC. Salley was Caught Sneakin' Through The Alley behind MSG and we danced her to death...it was sick...and went right > Makisupa complete with Trey's tongue-in-cheek references to smoking blunts and a kick-drum solo > Bowie. Insanity. Not a single song fell below 8 minutes, and nearly every song was 9:30+...a rarity theses days spanning an entire set. The boys encored with Fee, with Trey on the megaphone, and then rounded out 2010 with Frankenstein, complete with The Chairman on keytar. And so the year was finished - although it had technically just begun - and what a great year it was. Phish was reaching new jamming heights, they seemed full of life and having fun, and 2011 was full of high Phishspectations. The hot dog was revived and the boys were entering uncharted ground with an unprecedented 1/1 show. What would 2011 have in store? Well, we know since this review is from last year. Who knew a theremin would land in Page's yard and he would use it to take Phish to new levels. New levels like  we witnessed in Denver. New heights like we're about to witness in NYC this year. I'll see you there.


- Trigger Treinta Uno

Trigger31.com

Thanks to Phish.net & LivePhish for the setlist help.