Super Bowl XLVII pReview

   One of the few things that rivals Phish for my recreational attention is the NFL, and whether the New England Patriots are at their rightful place as AFC Champions or not, I'm interested. In fact, I wouldn't miss it, despite our beloved New England Bradies picking the most inopportune time - for the second year in a row - to go from an offensive powerhouse to...well, offensive. Things the Patriots seldom did all season became common practice in the AFC Championship game, just as they did in Super Bowl XLVI the season before: dropped balls...again; Brady hurrying throws...again; Special Teams mistakes...again; turn-overs...again. The one Achilles heal for the regular-season 2012 Patriots - a relatively young, inexperienced defense - had played better throughout the season and developed into a bright spot, perhaps capable of providing that last piece for another ring. That bright spot dimmed as well, showing few of the improvements they had amassed all season. Once Aqib Talib went down with a leg injury our very improved secondary looked weak, and the perennially dangerous Anquan Boldin set ablaze and ruined any chance of slowing them down. Add that to an annual Bernard Pollard bombing of one of most important players limbs, or in this case, head (this time it was our RB Steven Ridley*, who after being knocked out by a helmet-to-helmet hit by Pollard fumbled the ball to the Ravens essentially sealing the game for Baltimore), and you have the AFC player in this year's Super Bowl, the 47th installment of America's supposedly most beloved game. The NFC, of much less interest to me due to my affiliations, produced an anticipated match up between the league's best defense (SF 49ers) and one the of the league's best offenses (Atlanta Falcons). The game didn't disappoint nearly as much as the AFC Championship did - even if you were a Baltimore fan it was relatively boring - as a first half Falcons run-away flipped script for the second week in a row, but this time the Falcons couldn't maintain the magic and sent the 49ers to the big game for the first time since I was a junior in High School (OK, 1995). Here are my predictions for the key match ups, the score, and the MVP:

Key match ups

49ers run defense v. Ravens run offense: 49ers

The 49ers have the best front seven in the NFC, which means they have the best front seven in all of football, and this will be trouble for the Ravens. Giving up less than 95 yards per game on the gound, the Smith Brothers From Different Mothers and the LB wrecking crew of Bowman & Willis anchor a front seven that also includes the seldom heard of, but nearly equally dangerous Ahmad Brooks and Issac Sopoaga. I don't see Ray Rice & Crew getting through this wall, inside or out, putting the game squarely on the shoulders of Joe Flacco, the self-proclaimed best QB in the NFL. Let's see.

49ers young pistol offense v. Ravens aging "destined" defense: 49ers

This one is pretty simple for me. Colin Kaepernick, despite everything I looked for, seems to have no serious flaws for a guy with 10 starts going into the Super Bowl, save perhaps over confidence. Think any pros see that as a problem? He's lightning fast, has a canon accurate arm, and seems to learn quickly from costly mistakes - all recipes for a dangerous QB. The 49ers line is beastly, and gets big beastly on special packages, which would prove problematic for two young Haloti Ngata's, let alone one aging one. Frank Gore seems revived, if he even needed reviving, after being able to take the proverbial back seat to Kaepernick as he pistol whipped the NFC into submission the past several games. Oh yeah, then there's a suddenly dangerous WR crew, which has one formally busted 1st rounder earning his pay, and a future HOFer still pulling safeties his way. Add a constant threat in Vernon Davis and it seems pointless to even talk of the Ravens defense. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? THE BALTIMORE RAVENS DEFENSE?! Weak. Weaker than any we've seen since the last time these Ravens were in the Super Bowl - 13 years ago. Ray is old, and now distracted with the news of PED use for a quick recovery to the very game he won't be able to concentrate as hard on. The rest of this crew is old, too, and give up way too many yards and have way too many miles on the tires too keep up with this young tattooed up-and-comer. This one's going to take more then prayers, pacing and crying, and prolonged butt-crack sightings. I see the Ravens huffing, puffing, and getting blown down.

Ravens Special Teams v. 49ers Special Teams: Ravens

OK, one ruined their team's chances at a previous Super Bowl and rectified that problem by replacing the culprit with a  totally unjustified former top-10 draft pick who'll most likely commit the same error if given the chance in the bright spotlight. The other only improved with the addition of Jacoby Jones. Whoops, guessing game over. One actually was trying out two kickers going INTO the NFC Championship game. The other stole a game earlier this season from the Patriots on a questionable, but long clutch kick, and has been known to do the same in similar moments. That one I'll leave to you. Either way I give the ST nod to the needy Ravens...as in they need something, BAD.

Ravens coaching staff v. 49ers coaching staff: Ravens

Wait, they're brothers? Yes, we all know. Yes, I'm just as shocked as you the NFL didn't rig this sooner, as in last year. Here's to a few more years of Harbaugh Bowls!! I think this one is pretty simple, too. John has been around the NFL longer, has a more veteran staff, and has what seems to be a maturity notch above the ol' (or should I say 'lil') brother Jim. Neither have been to a Super Bowl, but clearly the older (by one year) has more NFL experience and that's what matters. I give the slight nod to the Ravens here. At least this butt pat won't end in a fight and a media frenzy...well, at least the former shouldn't happen.

Score

I have the 49ers winning Super Bowl XLVII 29-23. I expect the 49ers to score three offensive TDs (two rushing, one passing), kick two FGs (both by Aker's...sorry, bad joke maybe), and score one safety (got Smith getting this one...I won't say which color). I expect the Ravens to be completely shut down offensively, but still managing to score points based on big plays resulting in one offensive TD (passing), one Special Teams TD (Jones), and three FGs. The score will not represent a complete domination by the 49ers.

Super Bowl XLVII MVP

This one is actually easy, too. I'm going with @kaepernick7. Sorry, Colin Kaepernick. I'm used to Twitter. Kaepernick will be MVP, as only the fourth QB in NFL history to start the Super Bowl in the same season as his fist start in the NFL, and only the second in history to also win the Super Bowl MVP (Brady - correct me if either of the other two QBs also won MVP...but doubt it). With a rushing TD and a passing TD, the kid who'll make the Baltimore defense look out of gas most of the night will steal the show, resulting in such a massive ego next season that the entire 49ers team will eventually implode on itself and cease to exist.

   

   Enjoy the game, stay safe, and if you lose take it easy - remember, it's just a game...that means absolutely everything if you're a football fan. Seriously, these games suck on the losing end. You suddenly realize the season ended. You suddenly realize your team is the same as the Cleveland Browns or the Arizona Cardinals. Reality hits that you just lost that bet. Then it dawns on you how large a percentage of the crowd is just there for the party, and how most of those people are the 99%ers, which means they're fucking rich. Then you remember you're not rich, and that the Super Bowl is on a Sunday, and you have to work in the morning. Then it occurs to you that you live on the East Coast, where the game ends at midnight, despite having started at 6:30 p.m., so you have to go to that shitty low paying work in many fewer hours than originally anticipated. Then you question why you even watch these games, why people even care about sports, or why society is set up so that there even are Super Bowls, or rich people, or work. Then there you are again in April hoping your team's chances improve so that you can relive it again 365-so-odd days later. Such is life. And when that life hands you lemons, cut them in half and shove them into the eyes of your closest enemy. Then you'll both be miserable. Problem solved.

49ers win 29-23. Go Patriots!

Peace,

Phaulkner

(Formally Trigger Treinta Uno, who lost a mental gun control battle to myself)

Trigger31.com 

(as far as the Trigger part that stays here, it's actually a college basketball reference...and if you can guess it and you DON"T know me, I'll be terrified, becasue that would be super weird)

* Benard Pollard, for those unaware, was the culprit in several season/game-ending injuries that befell our beloved New England Patriots and ultimately affected an entire season or a playoff run/game: Brady (knee, 2008), Welker (knee, 2010), Gronkowski (leg/ankle, 2011), Ridley (head, 2012)