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Saturday, June 4, 2011

Take The Last Train From Clarkston...All The Way To Cincinnati

   My crew liked the idea of a tour blog, but my more logical friends had the same opinion: [You're] NEVER going to be able to keep up with a daily blog, especially the way we roll. Well, they were half right. I haven't been able to keep up with it every day - the actual blog section anyway - but I have proved them quasi-wrong by keeping the blog going. In other words, I actually got past the preview, actually followed through with the Bethel blog despite my absence, my crew's entire absence Friday, and the fact that I was at least 20 miles a connection to the outside world. And I stayed true - even after Night One in PNC when I thought for a few minutes "Not only am I going to struggle remembering anything tomorrow, but I don't take notes, and we're constantly traveling" - I was clear-headed and writing on the way to suburban Detroit. But as you've noticed, I've taken to writing the reviews in chunks, and that'll be the plan for the remainder of the summer and beyond. So we'll review the mid-week shows, then the weekend shows. Let's roll...
   It was Mike's birthday. It was the first Cacto birthday show since 1989 at the Wetlands Preserve. By the way, do you remember that place??? Holy shit, that was the SICKEST small venue in the country. It closed ~2000 (and I'm not surprised) and left a huge NYC void in the jamming community. The owners run that place Brooklyn Bowl, but there's no way it has the swagger the The Wetlands had...anyway. We spent three hours traveling 60 fucking miles from Detroit to Clarkston, but were relieved when we found a back dirt road in town that led us right to the gate...right next to that pathetic excuse for a ski hill. Do people really bother riding that chairlift 200 feet to the top of that hill? I thought Alpine Valley was a joke, but his "ski hill" took the cake. Sad ski hills or not, DTE was BOMB. Security was cool, the police were absent, the phans were polite and excited, and the weather was unbelievable. 70 degrees and crisp - a real nice break from the 85-90 degree humid lots from PNC. But that heat returned very quickly - in the form of a grey suit vest and Modulus popping. Those assholes went on 10 minutes after ticket start time, so we missed the first half a Wolfman's (10:47), despite walking in the venue at 7:45. Funky Bitch (7:06) followed, then standard versions of Sample (5:30) and NICU (5:32). The birthday celebration began with a classic Groove: Mike's (9:25) > Hydrogen (3:03) > Weekapaug (9:59). It raged. The Mike's gets progressively darker every time they play it. Poor Doobie, despite numerous shows he can never get Tela (6:58)...which was beautiful and  > into Chalkdust (10:43). We finally got the Wedge (7:28) we've been waiting to end the set. The place was buzzing as we all sand Happy Birthday to Mike at the start of the Second Set. Maybe it was the birthday wishes...maybe it was the vest...I'm not sure, but what ensued was FUCKING MAYHEM. DWD (24:54) > Fluffhead (16:41) > Bowie (16:31)...WHAT?!?!?!?! Dude, are you fucking kidding me???ONE FUCKING HOUR!!! DWD is always mayhem, but the Fluffhead was POPPING OFF. Gordo had his shit turned up to 11, Spinal Tap style, and it was GROSS! We got a very short break with Waste (6:31) before they > 2001 (6:30) that had Sex Machine and Super Bad teases THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING > Cavern (5:47). CHEESE AND CRACKERS!!! MIKE IS 46!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!! The encore was GTBT (7:25) and despite a $5000 fine for the first 5 minutes over, and a $10,000 fine for every minute after that, they went over. Of course they did. They love us, and that $50,000 they probably spend after royalties and fines is chump change to them. You guys do realize how fucking rich they are right? I don't mind keeping Phish rich, but I NEVER SPEND A DIME IN THOSE VENUES. SUPPORT YOUR LOT PEOPLE, IT'S BETTER FOOD/BEER/ETC. ANYWAY.
   The grimy sex scene from the 2001 in Detroit made it's way to Cuyahoga Falls, too. We'll get to that in a minute. The weather was right back to being shitty - if you live on the VT border like I do - with upper 80's and high humidity, but hey, at least it's not rain and tornadoes. Security was sweet for the second night in a row, which really sets a scene, and the cops were concerned with traffic only as they let us party responsibly. Responsibly...I could barely write that without feeling like I was trying to sell shit to a pig farmer. We walked 300 miles into the venue and were immediately treated to heat. By the way, I talked to Mike and he promised us a Clone. KDF (9:14) opened the show, then a rocking Guyute (11:10). We were Fucked in the Face for 2:19 before > a RAGING Foam (10:31). A quick pause then Ocelot (11:23) before the sex references were busted out again with a MONSTER Rocket In My Pocket (4:58). That song IS THE SHIT! Back On The Train (8:24) > Guelah Papyrus (7:00)...so sick...then the never-more-than-5-minutes-anymore-because-Phish-can't-stand-you-pit-people-screaming-it Tube (4:49) > Run Like An Antelope (12:03). Antelope had Streets Of Cairo teases and the usual Esquandolas nonsense. Set Two opened with crowd energizer Birds of a Feather, followed by...ugh...Possum. Then the roof ripped off with the debut of Steam...which was steamy to say the fucking least, which > Piper > only the sixth Lizards of 3.0, and the first since Amherst. Ahh, eternal joy and never ending splendor. And that was just the beginning. Sneakin' Salley Through The Alley (6:58) > Blossum Jam (6:04) > Harry Hood (3:47) > Have Mercy (2:39) > Harry Hood (3:47). Dude, we could barely handle it! Salley was BOMBISH with Manteca teases...the jam was EPIC...Hood was classic with Have Mercy and Lizards teases...and Have Mercy had ME IN TEARS. Sing it with me now..."HAVE MERCY ON US GOOD PHANS...THAT DIED THAT NIGHT...CAUSE PHISH POPS OF...HAVE MERCY ON US GOOD PHAAANS AND GUIDE US, WE PRAY TO PHISH".  Wow. Character Zero ended the set and had Smoke On The Water teases and Slave (10:43)ended the show. Dude, Cuyahoga is where it's at! What could Cincinasty have in store???
   Cincinnati was hot as shit, humid as shit, was on the smelliest river ever, and had security telling us we couldn't put on our sneakers at our cars. Apparently if you have a roller coaster ticket you can grill. If you wear Nike's, a fitted hat with pins all over it, and look like you don't even have to die trying to get rich, you're not allowed to chill. No matter, we're here for the music, and we got that in fucking spades. AC/DC (7:16) > PYITE (8:19) > Bathtub Gin (11:30) > Taste (9:22) to open the show. Man, here we go. A breather in Lawn Boy (3:41) followed before everyone got their Mound (6:51) on. It was sick...unless you went to Gordon shows and saw it all the time. Just kidding, it was super sick. One of the best Jibboo's (10:40) in a long time > into the Reba (11:44) we've ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. No whistling...I think that's done forever. Next was phan favorite Fee (w/ megaphone, 7:18), which > BDTNL (9:33) to end the set. FIRE. ABSOLUTE FIRE. More lumpy heads with a  Carini (4:58) Second Set opener, which > Tweezer (12:04, w/ Crosseyed and Painless teases) > Free (7:13). Security, get the fuck out of here you annoying little shit. We're raging and there's nothing you can do about it!!! The roof blasted off the place after that monster segue with a RAUCOUS Crosseyed And Painless (7:49) > Light (10:34). FUCKING HEAT. Boogie On (5:45) > Julius (8:34), YEM (20:18) ended the set. Maybe the best set of Phish yet, even after this monstrous weekend. The encore was a boner beater with Loving Cup (6:00), but of course it  > TweepriZe (4:05) so everyone left pumped.
   So everyone is basically chomping at the bit to get to the shows now, and for good reason. Mike was a preseason choice for MVP and he's delivered on every occasion. Trey is a Jedi. Fishman has every fucking phan buying blue shit with red circles on it. Page sounds like he and Josh Groben were hanging out in the off-season. In other words, mid-season form is already here and we're not even 50% done. WE STILL HAVE THE SOUTHERN RUN TO GO!!! WILL WE EVEN SURVIVE THAT LONG?!?!?! We're back home tonight baby, and we couldn't be more pumped. To my MA peeps, we'll see you in two hours. Medics, get the beds ready and ambulances warmed up. People are going down tonight.

-Trigger Treinta Uno

Trigger31.com

Thanks to LivePhish and Phish.net for the set list help, and to my new best friend Sweny for letting us use the Nissan!


Matty Fractal, we're still thinking of you brother! Hurry up and get better so we can roll!

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